The most stressful job I ever had...

...was working as a forensic archaeologist for the United Nations. Once we thought we'd found the mass grave of a thousand snowmen, but it turned out to be a field of carrots.

'Now how on Earth is he going to make that relevant?' you ask yourself. Well, it's just that sometimes I make things more complicated than they need to be. My mass grave of snowmen is my attempts to run certain mileages at certain heartrates; my field of carrots is that all I need to be doing is running more than I was doing at an easy pace. This has enabled me to spend some of my holiday running time being outdoors with Squish (aka "The Wife", a name acquired in the world's most convoluted in-joke) and not stressing about the numbers.

Of course, it's also left me 16 miles short of my thousand for the year, but I'm not worried, honest! Next year, if I don't break myself,  I should pass 1000 miles before the end of June...

All that remains is for me to wish you all a happy 2012...and success in whatever challenges you undertake.

Cheers!

"It's all going really well!"...

...as they said on the Titanic about halfway.

I have succumbed to a cold; obviously I'm being frightfully brave and stiff-upper-lipped about it; it was really MANFLU and was positively ghastly.

I've missed over a week of training; I managed to get out for six miles today, but it wasn't pretty; the only good news is that I wasn't as bad as when I first started training.

Back to the drawing board, as this signwriter obviously never said:

I am determined that you all should be outraged by this picture.

In other news, I see that Eldrick Woods (interestingly an anagram of 'do 'er slow, dick') is growing a goatee; the razor becons for Mr. Hamster...

Time for a spot of dirty fun

Last Sunday was the Sodbury Slog, 9 miles or so of extreme squelchery with a little running thrown in for good measure.

It wasn't the muddiest of years, but it was enough to be entertaining. I'm not so sad as to have run it on heart rate, but an average of 154 was pretty good. The sun shone, the temperature was clement, the queues at the signature obstacles were minimal, the showers were cold...and the pizza and company afterwards were excellent.

Two Pirates in a bar; one says to the other 'your round'; the other replies 'so are you, you fat bastard!'...1/4lb off this week, still looking a little rotund in the photo. Pace for HR is improving though; 2:10 off my 10k cross-country route, meaning I've taken almost 11 minutes off since the end of September.

Base training is still working and I'm on course for being as good as I was by Christmas.



Not that my blog has a Dave obsession...

Just thought I'd share this with all Daves out there. More power to your, er, elbow.

Just a minute...

A bloke walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
'A pint of lager for me and a half for Tiny, please' he says, pointing to the newt.
'Why do you call him Tiny?' asks the barman
'Because he's my newt.'

And that's the snag with all this heartrate-based training; the improvements from day to day are minute...so it's good to look back through the training log to see if things are getting better.

Today I ran just under seven miles cross country at an average HR of 147 for 10:39 min miling; five weeks ago, I ran the easier 6.25 mile version of the same route (it includes a short road section rather than a longer off-road route) at an average HR of 150 for 11:42 min miling.

63 seconds a mile faster for an average HR 3 BPM lower in 5 weeks; I'm pleased to report that training still works.

A skeleton walked into a bar...

...and asked for a pint of lager and a mop.

Time for a review of my first full month of training for the Severn Challenge. While I may not yet be skeletal in build, I have lost 5lb this month, my current weight being 13st dead. I gained 1/4 of a pound in the last week; I'd like to think it was muscle glycogen from easy week, but 'twas more likely the cream tea, pasties, Chinese, bottle of wine and several pints of Rattler consumed during a long weekend in Cornwall. We did manage some training, including failing to locate the castle at Castledore; kind of a shame really as the castle is the main point of the place.

I completed my now traditional fourteen mile long run in the dark today...on Halloween. I failed dismally to spot any ghosties or hobgoblins, though there was that woman with the dog. 'Which woman?' I hear you ask. No, just a neighbour.

I shaved over 24 seconds a mile off from my previous run round the same loop wearing the rucksack three weeks ago, so something is working, but my pace is still slowing during the final five miles for the same heartrate; not scarily good, but not frightful either. And I've been out and held the pads for Squish to do some boxing, so I don't feel like the living dead either.

142 miles run this month and 38 walked; no serious niggles or injuries. As long as I can avoid my daughter's projectile vomiting bug, I should be fine for another good month of training. I expect that with the ground now getting wetter, my cross country times will get no better, but the workouts will get harder. I enjoy runs when I come back looking like a swamp creature, so it should be a real treat.

And Dave and Dave have entered, but Dave is still resisting. You know what to do...

Bags for life

Today I was at the trade show for the day job; as ever, unless you're after something specific (and I wasn't) it's just a case of wandering round, nattering to the reps and acquiring some freebies...most of which seemed to be jute bags/linen bags/bags for life.

Just how long do they think I'm going to live?

Surely by now, every household in the developed world must possess at least a dozen of the damn things, making them little more environmentally friendly than the good old carrier bag.