Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Bad science

I'd like to endorse my new 'Chocolate Biscuit Diet', possibly the most exciting concept in weightloss since fat people were invented.

On New Year's Day, I had a large lunch (beef, Yorkshire puds, the works and very nice it was too) then ate nothing but chocolate biscuits (and drank tea and water) for the next 24 hours.

I weighed myself before bed on NYD and came in at a whopping (sorry, too much tabloid TV) 12st 13.5lb. In metric, that's about as much as a small island off the Scottish coast.

Having been for a run the following morning (after chocolate biscuits for breakfast) I weighed in again (same scales, same spot on the floor) at 12st 9.25lb (in metric, about as much as Rockall) an immense reduction of 4.25lb (one of the Inner Hebrides) in a day! I owe it all to chocolate biscuits.

Send me a one-off fee of £9.99 (or local equivalent) and I'll tell you which brand of chocolate biscuits I ate; send me an extra £19.99 (or local equivalent) and I'll even send you a box.

Now that's bad science.


  1. TBH I'm not that keen on chocolate biscuits, do you think it would work with custard creams? (if that opinion incurs a fee don't worry about it) :-D

  2. Cheque in the post...

  3. I think that custard creams may work, but not as quickly; expect a loss of a mere 2lb a day.

    Thanks Jude! Remember, money back if not delighted*!

    * extensive terms and conditions apply ;o)

  4. They come in a BOX? They must be posh biscuits!