and sometimes I think I'm a teepee.
"It's clear that you're too tense"
I have of late been suffering from the twin curses of the serious endurance athlete (*cough*)...tiredness and sore legs. Now as Already Entered Dave has rightly pointed out, running 760 miles in four and a half months may have something to do with it. I know that some of you would tweak the proboscis of such distance in hearty contempt, but I'm not a high mileage Hamster, so this is a lot for me.
The tiredness is easily managed by sleeping more (it's worth reading the whole blog just for that insightful nugget of ultra-running wisdom) but I've been radical and innovative with the soreness; I've been consciously relaxing my leg muscles before dozing off. This was taught to me as a general form of relaxation by my dear ole mom in about 1972. Hi mom! She reads every word, you know! Hey, if you don't remember the Seventies, you weren't there, man...or something like that. Anyway, I cranked up Slade on the Iplod and applied the technique to my poor sore legs in particular. it worked!
I really thought I was on to something and that my fame would spread far and wide through the endurance sport world, but it turns out that someone beat me to it; it seems to be remarkably similar to the Alexander Technique. Bugger, beaten by new-agers again! First Lananininoonoo and her yogalates, now this! Bet they didn't do it to Slade, though...
Blimey, the comments have been flooding in, inasmuch as two is a flood. Mouse posted this about mental strategies, which is worth repeating:
"Well if you've got checkpoints, how far apart are they? They give you the same xx amount of runs of xx amount of distance in the same way that IM Germany is 4 x 10k (so is Copenhagen which was quite useful for me not being confused for the following year). The JW Ultra is 3 x 10 mile runs and so on and so forth.
Although, sometimes this method is broken down into a different strategy if you are running in company (has Dave entered yet by the way?) because then it's a strategy of only telling the fish tank joke once 45 mins and other such nonsense to pass the time.
Do your route combos take you back past home? That would be an unmanageable strategy for mices because we'd just pack up and go indoors for a Mars bar instead of carrying on...."
I think that the first paragraph sums it up nicely, though on the longest days, checkpoints are about 13 miles apart; this may need an alternative plan. Hasn't Entered Dave hasn't entered (unlike Already Entered Dave) but I'm sure that the fish tank joke will be making a regular appearance. I shall be modelling my mental strategy on the excellent lateral thinking of our local Royal Mail sorting office; they have quite brilliantly eliminated the problem of discarded red rubber bands by changing them for buff-coloured rubber bands. Brighter than a marmoset in a highlighter factory, I'd say.
And yes, my multi-routes often involve passing the front door to Hamster Mansions, but I keep going coz I'm well 'ard, me!
In training news, my long run is up to 18 miles and I've started to add some running at 80% max heart rate (or 'a bit faster' as I like to think of it). Intense, yes, too tense, not yet!
Monday, 20 February 2012
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a moth...
'Ah, you want the psychiatrist, just down the corridor'
'I know that, but I saw your light was on...'
I got down to my longest run of the campaign so far (16 miles cross country, through the slush that typifies the Great British Winter, in an average of 10:13 min miling for a heartrate of 70.5% of maximum, thanks for asking!) and it got me thinking of the psychology of being out for a long time while operating at low intensity. Just how do you break it down into manageable chunks?
I know that some people view it in the same way as eating an elephant (one bite at a time) but I have long been a fan of breaking it into a few shorter runs; this is something that I discovered at IM Germany where the marathon is a four lap affair; thus the run was 4x 10k plus the finishing chute, which is psychologically pretty straightforward.
I suppose that wondering how to break down a long run into manageable chunks is in itself a technique for breaking down a long run into manageable chunks, but if you ponder this too hard, it will cause a breakdown in the space-time continuum, form a black hole and wipe out all existence in the universe faster than you can say 'who let the marmoset drive the Large Hadron Collider?' Messy, very messy.
So what was my radical discovery? Er, nothing very original, really; I ran three of my different, shorter routes, connected up with small additions as necessary. Thus, 16 miles became 3x 5.something mile loops and all was well. I finished feeling strong and ready for another marathon or so on top.
Naturally, this will be no use during the Severn Challenge; I reckon it's going to be a case of running (a word I use in its widest context) from one checkpoint to the next and letting the overall mileage take care of itself. Pass the elephant, I can eat a whole one!
In other dramatic news, I can finally reveal that I shall be running the Severn Challenge for SSAFA Forces Help. If you'd like to donate, there's a handy button over there on the right and another one at the bottom of the page; thank you kindly for your support!
'I know that, but I saw your light was on...'
I got down to my longest run of the campaign so far (16 miles cross country, through the slush that typifies the Great British Winter, in an average of 10:13 min miling for a heartrate of 70.5% of maximum, thanks for asking!) and it got me thinking of the psychology of being out for a long time while operating at low intensity. Just how do you break it down into manageable chunks?
I know that some people view it in the same way as eating an elephant (one bite at a time) but I have long been a fan of breaking it into a few shorter runs; this is something that I discovered at IM Germany where the marathon is a four lap affair; thus the run was 4x 10k plus the finishing chute, which is psychologically pretty straightforward.
I suppose that wondering how to break down a long run into manageable chunks is in itself a technique for breaking down a long run into manageable chunks, but if you ponder this too hard, it will cause a breakdown in the space-time continuum, form a black hole and wipe out all existence in the universe faster than you can say 'who let the marmoset drive the Large Hadron Collider?' Messy, very messy.
So what was my radical discovery? Er, nothing very original, really; I ran three of my different, shorter routes, connected up with small additions as necessary. Thus, 16 miles became 3x 5.something mile loops and all was well. I finished feeling strong and ready for another marathon or so on top.
Naturally, this will be no use during the Severn Challenge; I reckon it's going to be a case of running (a word I use in its widest context) from one checkpoint to the next and letting the overall mileage take care of itself. Pass the elephant, I can eat a whole one!
In other dramatic news, I can finally reveal that I shall be running the Severn Challenge for SSAFA Forces Help. If you'd like to donate, there's a handy button over there on the right and another one at the bottom of the page; thank you kindly for your support!
Friday, 27 January 2012
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A whale with a thyroid problem. It's OK, I'm allowed to do thyroid jokes; I've been there, I've suffered. After Greenpeace's recent attempt to roll me back out to sea, I'm probably allowed to do whale jokes too.
After reading Jj's rather splendid Maturing Nicely blog I've been pondering weight loss and weight gain...and it turns out to be as you might expect: it's easy to put it on and a lot harder to get it off. Remember, I have a brown belt in physiology!
Let's assume that a hypothetical person (we'll call him Erwin H., because we don't care for Erwins and it's an anagram of 'whiner') eats a Mars Bar's-worth of unnecessary calories per day. Erwin stores as fat 280 calories every day; with 3500 kCal/lb gained, that's 2st 1lb of weight gained in a year. In five years, he's pretty much doubled his bodyweight and even wearing a hat doesn't make him interesting.
To get Erwin back to a normal BMI, we have to ease him off the Mars Bars or get him to burn more calories to compensate. He's going to have to run a couple of miles to use 280 calories and another four or five each day to burn a pound of fat a week. That's forty five miles, each week, every week. Crikey. You're going to have to ditch the confectionery, Erwin, and probably another 400 calories besides!
Add in the fact that Erwin's basal metabolic rate falls with age (he needs fewer calories to maintain his vital functions) and this year's balanced intake/expenditure is next years gain of 10kCal of fat each day...or a pound of lard a year. Depressing, no?
Well not really; it's still a case of eating less and moving more, just that it really pays to watch the food intake, even down to that last Mars Bar. Or you could always buy an interesting hat.
After reading Jj's rather splendid Maturing Nicely blog I've been pondering weight loss and weight gain...and it turns out to be as you might expect: it's easy to put it on and a lot harder to get it off. Remember, I have a brown belt in physiology!
Let's assume that a hypothetical person (we'll call him Erwin H., because we don't care for Erwins and it's an anagram of 'whiner') eats a Mars Bar's-worth of unnecessary calories per day. Erwin stores as fat 280 calories every day; with 3500 kCal/lb gained, that's 2st 1lb of weight gained in a year. In five years, he's pretty much doubled his bodyweight and even wearing a hat doesn't make him interesting.
To get Erwin back to a normal BMI, we have to ease him off the Mars Bars or get him to burn more calories to compensate. He's going to have to run a couple of miles to use 280 calories and another four or five each day to burn a pound of fat a week. That's forty five miles, each week, every week. Crikey. You're going to have to ditch the confectionery, Erwin, and probably another 400 calories besides!
Add in the fact that Erwin's basal metabolic rate falls with age (he needs fewer calories to maintain his vital functions) and this year's balanced intake/expenditure is next years gain of 10kCal of fat each day...or a pound of lard a year. Depressing, no?
Well not really; it's still a case of eating less and moving more, just that it really pays to watch the food intake, even down to that last Mars Bar. Or you could always buy an interesting hat.
Wednesday, 25 January 2012
Sex appeal.
Please give generously.
I shall, as is my wont, be completing the Severn Challenge for charity (I do a lot of good work for charity but don't like to talk about it.) I also once won a pair of sunglasses for improving from dreadful to almost average during one day of a stage race, though I don't like to talk about that either. Neither does my partner in crime from that glorious day, 'Hasn't entered yet Dave'...Remember, finger on the picture at the top of the page, chant 'enter, enter', that's the spirit.
I notice from the disreputable online haunts which I frequent (and you probably frequent too) that it's that time of year again. You know, when people start asking 'How do I raise money for my cause? They want £1000 in return for giving me my London Marathon place.' Or 'Please will you cough up some cash so I can have a free trek down the Inca Trail/ to the top of Ayers Rock/ into the Number 2 reactor at Fukushima; if there's any left over, I'll donate it all to Save the Marmoset.'
It used to be simple back in the day; you asked for sponsorship to run a marathon and people sponsored you to do just that; nowadays it's all cake sales and 'Bring your Marmoset to work' days (or 'the first £900 goes towards my NBC suit')
I can promise you that you'll get none of that from me. I'll be running the Severn Challenge because I want to and entirely at my own expense; if anyone would like to donate to my chosen charity, I'd greatly appreciate it, but there's no obligation and no pressure. No marmosets will be harmed if you don't, I promise.
'Hang on a minute,' I hear you mutter, 'you've wittered on about the 'appeal' bit, but you promised us sex.' Well, I'm now below twelve and a half stone and have the finely-turned legs of a Victorian dining table, but I'm no Brad Pitt. Sorry.
I shall, as is my wont, be completing the Severn Challenge for charity (I do a lot of good work for charity but don't like to talk about it.) I also once won a pair of sunglasses for improving from dreadful to almost average during one day of a stage race, though I don't like to talk about that either. Neither does my partner in crime from that glorious day, 'Hasn't entered yet Dave'...Remember, finger on the picture at the top of the page, chant 'enter, enter', that's the spirit.
I notice from the disreputable online haunts which I frequent (and you probably frequent too) that it's that time of year again. You know, when people start asking 'How do I raise money for my cause? They want £1000 in return for giving me my London Marathon place.' Or 'Please will you cough up some cash so I can have a free trek down the Inca Trail/ to the top of Ayers Rock/ into the Number 2 reactor at Fukushima; if there's any left over, I'll donate it all to Save the Marmoset.'
It used to be simple back in the day; you asked for sponsorship to run a marathon and people sponsored you to do just that; nowadays it's all cake sales and 'Bring your Marmoset to work' days (or 'the first £900 goes towards my NBC suit')
I can promise you that you'll get none of that from me. I'll be running the Severn Challenge because I want to and entirely at my own expense; if anyone would like to donate to my chosen charity, I'd greatly appreciate it, but there's no obligation and no pressure. No marmosets will be harmed if you don't, I promise.
'Hang on a minute,' I hear you mutter, 'you've wittered on about the 'appeal' bit, but you promised us sex.' Well, I'm now below twelve and a half stone and have the finely-turned legs of a Victorian dining table, but I'm no Brad Pitt. Sorry.
Monday, 16 January 2012
What's white and enforces the law?
The Fridgealante.
I returned from my run the other day to find the emergency services on my drive; police, ambulance, fire brigade, the lot; they were about to take down the front door with a battering ram.
'Oi!' I shouted, not unreasonably, 'What do you think you're doing?'
'Sorry sir,' replied a young constable 'but the staff at the chip shop hadn't seen you for so long that they got worried and called the police!'
Weight loss is going quite well. I'm down to 12st 7 unofficially, so only a fortnight behind schedule; I've also run two consecutive 50 mile weeks and I'm feeling good.
I also note that Chrissie Wellington is following my lead in not racing IM this year; for me, it's all about the run!
I returned from my run the other day to find the emergency services on my drive; police, ambulance, fire brigade, the lot; they were about to take down the front door with a battering ram.
'Oi!' I shouted, not unreasonably, 'What do you think you're doing?'
'Sorry sir,' replied a young constable 'but the staff at the chip shop hadn't seen you for so long that they got worried and called the police!'
Weight loss is going quite well. I'm down to 12st 7 unofficially, so only a fortnight behind schedule; I've also run two consecutive 50 mile weeks and I'm feeling good.
I also note that Chrissie Wellington is following my lead in not racing IM this year; for me, it's all about the run!
Sunday, 8 January 2012
Core blimey
guv'nor, that's not a very original pun...but I have been indulging in a regular* stretching and core strengthening programme, courtesy of a DVD presented by an Aussie woman named Sherelle...or LeAnni...or one of those New Age names. I read an article recently that claims that your memory starts to deteriorate in your mid forties; I would post you a link, but I can't remember where I saw it...
The DVD is called Yogalates and is, unsurprisingly, a combination of swimming and kite-surfing. They are two activities that, in the comfort of one's own lounge, mostly involve stretches and core work. Leonora (or whatever her name is) is one of those incredibly flexible, yet irritating, people, who have you bending into positions you've not been able to explore since puberty hit and your bones calcified; you, sweating, panting, shaking, hurting; she, comfortable, relaxed, talking in one of those singsong voices that grown-ups use to small children.
She makes manifold interesting statements during the DVD; 'feel where the breath is moving in your body' (my lungs, mostly); 'keep breathing' (world-class advice); 'this exercise will aid your digestion' (that's a euphemism for 'make you fart a lot' right?)...but it is, amazingly, starting to work. My heels are getting alarmingly close to the floor during downward-facing dog; my 'warrior' is looking more warlike; I almost know my 'balasana' from my elbow. My hips are feeling looser, I'm sitting up taller and I've survived a fifty mile week unscathed.
So is it making any difference to the quality of my running? Absolutely no idea, but I'm going to stick with LaRochelle and her strange contortions for the duration and see what happens.
* remember, regular doesn't mean the same as frequent; Halley's Comet is pretty regular at once every 76 years.
The DVD is called Yogalates and is, unsurprisingly, a combination of swimming and kite-surfing. They are two activities that, in the comfort of one's own lounge, mostly involve stretches and core work. Leonora (or whatever her name is) is one of those incredibly flexible, yet irritating, people, who have you bending into positions you've not been able to explore since puberty hit and your bones calcified; you, sweating, panting, shaking, hurting; she, comfortable, relaxed, talking in one of those singsong voices that grown-ups use to small children.
She makes manifold interesting statements during the DVD; 'feel where the breath is moving in your body' (my lungs, mostly); 'keep breathing' (world-class advice); 'this exercise will aid your digestion' (that's a euphemism for 'make you fart a lot' right?)...but it is, amazingly, starting to work. My heels are getting alarmingly close to the floor during downward-facing dog; my 'warrior' is looking more warlike; I almost know my 'balasana' from my elbow. My hips are feeling looser, I'm sitting up taller and I've survived a fifty mile week unscathed.
So is it making any difference to the quality of my running? Absolutely no idea, but I'm going to stick with LaRochelle and her strange contortions for the duration and see what happens.
* remember, regular doesn't mean the same as frequent; Halley's Comet is pretty regular at once every 76 years.
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
Bad science
I'd like to endorse my new 'Chocolate Biscuit Diet', possibly the most exciting concept in weightloss since fat people were invented.
On New Year's Day, I had a large lunch (beef, Yorkshire puds, the works and very nice it was too) then ate nothing but chocolate biscuits (and drank tea and water) for the next 24 hours.
I weighed myself before bed on NYD and came in at a whopping (sorry, too much tabloid TV) 12st 13.5lb. In metric, that's about as much as a small island off the Scottish coast.
Having been for a run the following morning (after chocolate biscuits for breakfast) I weighed in again (same scales, same spot on the floor) at 12st 9.25lb (in metric, about as much as Rockall) an immense reduction of 4.25lb (one of the Inner Hebrides) in a day! I owe it all to chocolate biscuits.
Send me a one-off fee of £9.99 (or local equivalent) and I'll tell you which brand of chocolate biscuits I ate; send me an extra £19.99 (or local equivalent) and I'll even send you a box.
Now that's bad science.
On New Year's Day, I had a large lunch (beef, Yorkshire puds, the works and very nice it was too) then ate nothing but chocolate biscuits (and drank tea and water) for the next 24 hours.
I weighed myself before bed on NYD and came in at a whopping (sorry, too much tabloid TV) 12st 13.5lb. In metric, that's about as much as a small island off the Scottish coast.
Having been for a run the following morning (after chocolate biscuits for breakfast) I weighed in again (same scales, same spot on the floor) at 12st 9.25lb (in metric, about as much as Rockall) an immense reduction of 4.25lb (one of the Inner Hebrides) in a day! I owe it all to chocolate biscuits.
Send me a one-off fee of £9.99 (or local equivalent) and I'll tell you which brand of chocolate biscuits I ate; send me an extra £19.99 (or local equivalent) and I'll even send you a box.
Now that's bad science.
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